Feedback: Writing About Your Living Space
2023-04-07
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1In a recent Everyday Grammar report, we explored how to describe your living space.
2We asked our readers and listeners to write us a message about their living space.
3In today's report, we will give feedback on a message sent to us from a VOA Learning English fan in China.
4Let's start with part of what Yan wrote to us:
5I bought a apartment ten years ago in shanghai as I worked for 2 years.
6The apartment has three bedrooms, three bathrooms, one living room, a kitchen and two balconies.
7Yan wrote a nice description of the living space.
8The second sentence - the one describing the rooms of the house - does not need any changes at all.
9That said, we can offer some suggestions to make the first sentence clearer.
10We can also learn about some important ideas that can be used in many situations.
11The first sentence says:
12I bought a apartment ten years ago in shanghai as I worked for 2 years.
13We recommend changing "a apartment" to "an apartment." Let's explore why.
14The articles "a" and "an" both act as determiners.
15In other words, they tell us something about the quality of the noun they come before.
16"A" and "an" both suggest that the noun is general rather than specific.
17The difference between "a" and "an" relates to speaking. We generally use "a" before nouns that start with a consonant sound.
18We generally use "an" before nouns that start with a vowel sound.
19Since "apartment" starts with a vowel sound, we say "an apartment."
20Now let's examine our updated sentence:
21I bought an apartment ten years ago in shanghai as I worked for 2 years.
22Let us take note of the verbs in the sentence. We have "I bought" and "I worked."
23Both verbs are in the simple past.
24Now let's count the number of time periods mentioned. We have "ten years ago," and "for 2 years."
25We recommend simplifying the sentence by reducing the number of time periods mentioned.
26We could remove the part that says, "as I worked for 2 years."
27This part of the sentence is meant to explain how Yan got the apartment.
28But Yan made the money before buying the apartment.
29In other words, we have actions happening before other actions in the past.
30So, instead of using more complex language to explain the order of events, we can instead go in a different direction.
31We can take out some information from the sentence.
32Here is one way we could change the sentence:
33I worked for two years and then bought an apartment in Shanghai.
34Here is another possibility:
35I bought my apartment in Shanghai 10 years ago.
36Another possibility is to name the year the apartment was purchased. For example, you might write:
37In 2013, I bought an apartment in Shanghai.
38The central idea is to reduce the number of time periods mentioned per sentence.
39When we reduce the number of time periods mentioned per sentence, we can increase clarity.
40So, here is part of Yan's message that has been updated with our recommendations:
41I bought my apartment in Shanghai 10 years ago.
42The apartment has three bedrooms, three bathrooms, one living room, a kitchen and two balconies.
43One more thing: in general writing, we spell out the numbers one through nine, and we use figures for numbers 10 and higher.
44We can learn some important lessons from today's feedback.
45First, it is important to pay attention to articles and how they are used.
46Using "a" in place of "an" will not cause a major misunderstanding in everyday situations.
47But it could make a small difference to your score on a writing or speaking test.
48Second, it is important to keep note of how much information you include in your sentence.
49By limiting the amount of information per sentence, you can increase the clarity of your writing.
50I'm John Russell.
1In a recent Everyday Grammar report, we explored how to describe your living space. We asked our readers and listeners to write us a message about their living space. 2In today's report, we will give feedback on a message sent to us from a VOA Learning English fan in China. 3Yan's message 4Let's start with part of what Yan wrote to us: 5I bought a apartment ten years ago in shanghai as I worked for 2 years. The apartment has three bedrooms, three bathrooms, one living room, a kitchen and two balconies. 6Yan wrote a nice description of the living space. The second sentence - the one describing the rooms of the house - does not need any changes at all. 7That said, we can offer some suggestions to make the first sentence clearer. We can also learn about some important ideas that can be used in many situations. 8Change #1 - "an apartment" 9The first sentence says: 10I bought a apartment ten years ago in shanghai as I worked for 2 years. 11We recommend changing "a apartment" to "an apartment." Let's explore why. 12The articles "a" and "an" both act as determiners. In other words, they tell us something about the quality of the noun they come before. "A" and "an" both suggest that the noun is general rather than specific. 13The difference between "a" and "an" relates to speaking. We generally use "a" before nouns that start with a consonant sound. We generally use "an" before nouns that start with a vowel sound. Since "apartment" starts with a vowel sound, we say "an apartment." 14Change #2 - "as I worked for 2 years" 15Now let's examine our updated sentence: 16I bought an apartment ten years ago in shanghai as I worked for 2 years. 17Let us take note of the verbs in the sentence. We have "I bought" and "I worked." 18Both verbs are in the simple past. 19Now let's count the number of time periods mentioned. We have "ten years ago," and "for 2 years." 20We recommend simplifying the sentence by reducing the number of time periods mentioned. 21We could remove the part that says, "as I worked for 2 years." 22This part of the sentence is meant to explain how Yan got the apartment. But Yan made the money before buying the apartment. In other words, we have actions happening before other actions in the past. 23So, instead of using more complex language to explain the order of events, we can instead go in a different direction. We can take out some information from the sentence. 24Here is one way we could change the sentence: 25I worked for two years and then bought an apartment in Shanghai. 26Here is another possibility: 27I bought my apartment in Shanghai 10 years ago. 28Another possibility is to name the year the apartment was purchased. For example, you might write: 29In 2013, I bought an apartment in Shanghai. 30The central idea is to reduce the number of time periods mentioned per sentence. When we reduce the number of time periods mentioned per sentence, we can increase clarity. 31Updated message 32So, here is part of Yan's message that has been updated with our recommendations: 33I bought my apartment in Shanghai 10 years ago. The apartment has three bedrooms, three bathrooms, one living room, a kitchen and two balconies. 34One more thing: in general writing, we spell out the numbers one through nine, and we use figures for numbers 10 and higher. 35Final thoughts 36We can learn some important lessons from today's feedback. 37First, it is important to pay attention to articles and how they are used. Using "a" in place of "an" will not cause a major misunderstanding in everyday situations. But it could make a small difference to your score on a writing or speaking test. 38Second, it is important to keep note of how much information you include in your sentence. By limiting the amount of information per sentence, you can increase the clarity of your writing. 39I'm John Russell. 40John Russell wrote this lesson for VOA Learning English. 41____________________________________________________________________ 42Words in This Story 43feedback - n. helpful information that is given to someone to say what can be done to improve a performance, product, etc. 44determiner - n. a word (such as "a," "the," "some," "any," "my," or "your") that comes before a noun and is used to show which thing is being referred to